Scots Gaelic and Scottish English are wonderful languages and anyone who’s spent time in Scotland can tell you that they’re a people who know how to swear. There’s something about the Scottish accent that gives an extra amount of force to curses and insults so much that you may find yourself blown away by even the mildest of offenses. Needless to say, Scotland has quite a number of insults to hurl at offenders, and we have outlined ten of our favorites below. If you have any favorite Scottish insults, let us have it in the comments.
Face like a skelped erse
Now the first half of this insult will easily allow you to guess that it’s describing someone as ugly. “Skelped erse” is Scottish for “slapped ass” meaning that the person has a very reddened face. This could possibly be from rage, blushing, or even too much drinking.
Yer bum’s out the windae, ya f**kin’ bampot
Bampot is in itself a great insult, and it’s used to describe a very foolish or crazy person. A phrase like this is basically saying that you’re showing everyone your rear end by being such a buffoon.
A Scottish slang term, weapon isn’t necessarily used in a literal context though it bears an allusion to the traditional meaning. A “weapon” is a person who is so stupid that they’re actually a danger to themselves and others.
Awa’ n’ bile ye rheid
This Scots language phrase is a long-form way of telling someone to piss off. It literally translates to “Go away and boil your head.”
This term comes out of Glasgow and might not necessarily be an insult depending on how it’s used. A “fandan” is a portmanteau (blending of two words), in this case, a shortened version of “Fancy Dan”. This could be someone who puts a lot of emphasis on their outward appearance or even just someone who puts on airs and acts like they’re better than everyone else.
Like “weapon” a walloper is a truly awful person. Like many Scottish slang words, it’s another euphemism for the penis, but much ruder. It more specifically describes a limp member and would be akin to calling someone a “stupid dick”.
You might hear someone described as a “fookin’ rocket” and that basically means that they’re a crazy person. It’s like saying that someone “goes off like a rocket” in unpredictable ways. There’s no telling what they’re going to do next.
Ya look like dug licking pish off a nettle
Another phrase to describe a person’s unattractiveness (see “ugly”), this phrase has a few Scottish terms in it to translate. “Dug” means “dog”, “pish” is urine, and a “nettle” is a poisonous plant that can cause a rash, much like poison ivy. What the phrase essentially says is “You look like a dog who’s licking piss off of a poisonous plant”, which is pretty ugly.
In the United Kingdom and especially in Scotland, the word c**t isn’t as offensive as it is in the states and is normally used not as a slur against women, but typically a cheeky “take that” at your mates. Fud is essentially a more Scottish way of saying the same word that doesn’t have quite the same level of offense. Instead, fud has a different level of offense meant to call someone a moron.
[Insert Insult Here]
No, I didn’t forget one. The truth of the matter is, Scots are so good at cursing and insults they can string a bunch of them together to come up with entirely new ways of insulting people. Any combination involving “numpty” (idiot), “bawbag” (scrotum), “jobby” (turd), “weapon”, and some colorful adjectives will get you the perfect insult to fire the person annoying you.